I was sitting here just letting my mind wonder, one of my favorite things to do to pass the time. I was thinking how much different my life is now than it was ten years ago. I was still living hard, for lack of a better word. It kind of boggles my mind at the things that have changed in my life in the last ten years, as well as some things have never changed. At times I miss my old life, or at least the fun parts. I don’t miss the hangovers, lost time, paranoia or trying to stay one step ahead of everyone else.
I have loved and lost over the years, as I am sure you have as well. I have had really good friends, fair weather friends and backstabbing they can kiss me ass friends. One thing that still remains to the same today as it did then is that I keep fighting through the never ending darkness. If it weren’t for Matt and Mandy I am not sure I would not have made this far or continue to fight. The are the light at the end of the metaphysical black tunnel that seems to engulf my soul. My simple unconditional love for them keeps me here and wanting to make it another day.
They both have had and will continue to have battles of their own to conquer. It does sadden me knowing that some of those battles were handed down from me. I know they are stronger than they think and will come out the other side suivors. They have already accomplished more than I did at their age and I hope they continue to flourish and not let their demons hold them back as mine did me.
On that note I will go for the day.. Take care of yourself and smile for me.
