Plans for the year

Another week is coming to a close. January is almost over with and it seems just like yesterday we were welcome the New Year in. I decided to not make any resolutions. Because I knew I would end up breaking them and then feel bad because yet again another set of resolutions have been broken. So I made myself a list of goals, both small and big, that I would like to accomplish by the end of the year. Some are silly, some are practical and  some are more important than others. I tend to procrastinate. We all know this, I have not made a secret of the fact. I always have and I imagine I always will but I would really would like to work on it. To set myself deadlines and try my best to get certain tasked accomplished by the deadline. Lets see how that goes. One of those is to make sure that I post here at least three times a week. Hopefully one you will talk back to me.

I want a change in my life. They only way that is going to happen is by doing it myself. I am doing better than I have compared to this time last year. I am not just talking about health wise. I am taking about mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I am still working on everything but I think I have made some real progress both mentally and emotionally. I am still working on my spiritual well being. I am still unsure of what I do believe in and what I don't. I contradict myself in what I think I believe in. I still have a long way to go there.

I think one reason I am doing better with my mental and emotion we being is because I agreed to go back on medication for my bi-polar and multitudes of anxiety disorders ranging for mild OCD to Agoraphobia. The medicine helped with the epic highs and soul shattering downs. This is why people should never ever let me pick the paint color. Ever. I digress the medicine is helping. The right medicine. I have a new doctor and she actually listened to me. Got all of my records going back 15 years. Did lots and lots of blood work. Then took me off of three medicines, changes the strength on a couple and add a couple. So far is seems to be helping some. The darkness is being held at bay.. Kind like the meds are a moat and the evil knight can't cross the moat, but I can see it waiting to attack, always present.

  I have also decided that I would bring you all along for the ride this year. This is the part where you all yell “YAY!” See how lucky you are... just so damn lucky to be drug around by the one and only precarious and slightly demented Jenster. Yes, you are fortune indeed my friend.

 As much as it pains me to go I must for now. See you all soon my sweet friends... and yes you too lurkers... and of course my wonderful stalkers...