Warning....

Greetings everyone. I am doing a bit better (today anyway). I hope to get back to being here regularly. I have read a lot of books and way behind in reviews. I have posted a couple over on Amazon but they aren't my normal reviews. To be honest, which I am to a fault, they are kinda cop out reviews. A couple sentences and not even good ones. Bad Jen! I need a spankin'. Anyone offering?
  I will be back in a bit with an update. Just thought I would let ya'll know I was back.

An update and a funny...

Greetings my loyal subjects how are you all fairing on this overcast rainy dreary Wednesday? Me? Oh, I am fan-damn-tastic. It's been one of those days that I haven't spent fantasying about jabbing people with forks. I know it's not nice, but it was better than throwing things at them. Oh well tomorrow will be better, right? 
  My sister went to the Seether concert last night in Atlanta. She had a blast! She was sitting next to the stage. One of the members of the band laid down on the stage and gave her a pick. She was in Seether nirvana! Since I got her two tickets for her birthday that makes me officially THE BEST SISTER EVER! I even babysat. See I told you  that I was awesome. Did you really doubt me? 
 I have a good size list of books that need to be read and reviewed. If I owe you a review and it's been more than two weeks shoot me an e-mail. My list was misplaced last month. It may or may not have been made into paper airplanes. I have my team of skilled snoopers still looking for it. Ergo its lost and will never be found. Side note
the skilled snoopers is actual just one and she is 10 years old.
 I am sad to say that my cat, Wizzard, is a bully. Am I to blame? Could just be that he a bad-ass cat? He rules the house with an iron paw. He has marked everything that is mine, including me! None of the other cats will have  nothing to do with me for fear or retaliation. He won't share his toys or his chair. Yes, I am afraid I have raised a bully. He is adorable though isn't he?

 Yes that couch is an uncomfortable as it is ugly. Its that way for a reason. It is statistically proven that if someone is uncomfortable they will not stay long. 
 Work is coming along fine. I get annoyed some but it's mainly because I am upset with myself.
 Health wise.. Nothing really to report. Another infection. Another round of antibiotics. No feeling in parts of my legs and other parts hurt worse than just about anything I have ever experienced in my life. Sometimes even a sheet is too painful to touch my legs. I am not where I wanted to be by this time. I know "they" say I have come farther than they ever thought, but it's still not where I want to be. The thought of leaving the house still terrifies me. The panic attacks are still bad. I can handle visitors for a bit longer now. Trying to pretend to be sane is one of the hardest things I have ever tried to accomplish. I think I am 50/50 on passing for "normal".
 There is the update on me.. I will leave you with something I found funny....Take care of yourself. Smile for me. See ya next time...

Plans for the year

Another week is coming to a close. January is almost over with and it seems just like yesterday we were welcome the New Year in. I decided to not make any resolutions. Because I knew I would end up breaking them and then feel bad because yet again another set of resolutions have been broken. So I made myself a list of goals, both small and big, that I would like to accomplish by the end of the year. Some are silly, some are practical and  some are more important than others. I tend to procrastinate. We all know this, I have not made a secret of the fact. I always have and I imagine I always will but I would really would like to work on it. To set myself deadlines and try my best to get certain tasked accomplished by the deadline. Lets see how that goes. One of those is to make sure that I post here at least three times a week. Hopefully one you will talk back to me.

I want a change in my life. They only way that is going to happen is by doing it myself. I am doing better than I have compared to this time last year. I am not just talking about health wise. I am taking about mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I am still working on everything but I think I have made some real progress both mentally and emotionally. I am still working on my spiritual well being. I am still unsure of what I do believe in and what I don't. I contradict myself in what I think I believe in. I still have a long way to go there.

I think one reason I am doing better with my mental and emotion we being is because I agreed to go back on medication for my bi-polar and multitudes of anxiety disorders ranging for mild OCD to Agoraphobia. The medicine helped with the epic highs and soul shattering downs. This is why people should never ever let me pick the paint color. Ever. I digress the medicine is helping. The right medicine. I have a new doctor and she actually listened to me. Got all of my records going back 15 years. Did lots and lots of blood work. Then took me off of three medicines, changes the strength on a couple and add a couple. So far is seems to be helping some. The darkness is being held at bay.. Kind like the meds are a moat and the evil knight can't cross the moat, but I can see it waiting to attack, always present.

  I have also decided that I would bring you all along for the ride this year. This is the part where you all yell “YAY!” See how lucky you are... just so damn lucky to be drug around by the one and only precarious and slightly demented Jenster. Yes, you are fortune indeed my friend.

 As much as it pains me to go I must for now. See you all soon my sweet friends... and yes you too lurkers... and of course my wonderful stalkers...

Poppin' my beta-reading cherry!

 I'm doing my VERY first beta-read! Yes ma'am/sir I am finally poppin' my beta-reading cheery. I am so super excited about it!! Yah! I am also very nervous. I already read the book and now I am gonna go re-read and make my notes. The book was a whole lighter than I normally read. Ya know what I mean? I tend to like my books gritty and dark. Not always but in the genre it is in I do. I found myself rolling my eyes several times. This author also has another series ( the main character is both books are siblings) which I do like (even though its a lighter read too) made a guest appearance in this one. As of now anyway. Anyone got any advice for me? Comment or shoot me an email at jeannieholbrook@hotmail.com. 
  My daughter finally enrolled in college. She is doing a mostly online thing. Which is still expensive as hell,if you ask me. Anyway she has finally decided on a major. Let us all cross our fingers and hope it makes her happy or at least content. What? Don't shake your head at me or do that deep sigh. I would be over the moon if my daughter was happy. Truly deeply ridiculously deliriously happy. I would be happy content as well. At least content is better than being unhappy or sad all the time. So, yeah content is something I can be content with as well.
  I promised I would watch a movie with my daughter and her friend once it got dark. Its not a little after dark so I guess I better go. I think we are going to watch the second GI Joe movie. Its got the Rock or Dwayne Johnson if you prefer, in the movie. Mandy, my daughter, really likes him. So, lets hope it doesn't suck. Later ya'll