Wondering...

I was sitting here just letting my mind wonder, one of my favorite things to do to pass the time. I was thinking how much different my life is now than it was ten years ago. I was still living hard, for lack of a better word. It kind of boggles my mind at the things that have changed in my life in the last ten years, as well as some things have never changed. At times I miss my old life, or at least the fun parts. I don’t miss the hangovers, lost time, paranoia or trying to stay one step ahead of everyone else.

  I have loved and lost over the years, as I am sure you have as well. I have had really good friends, fair weather friends and backstabbing they can kiss me ass friends. One thing that still remains to the same today as it did then is that I keep fighting through the never ending darkness. If it weren’t for Matt and Mandy I am not sure I would not have  made this far or continue to fight. The are the light at the end of the metaphysical black tunnel that seems to engulf my soul. My simple unconditional love for them keeps me here and wanting to make it another day.

  They both have had and will continue to have battles of their own to conquer. It does sadden me knowing that some of those battles were handed down from me. I know they are stronger than they think and will come out the other side suivors. They have already accomplished more than I did at their age and I hope they continue to flourish and not let their demons hold them back as mine did me.

  On that note I will go for the day.. Take care of yourself and smile for me.

Blood Slaves By N.L. Hoffmann Review

Blood Slaves By  N.L. Hoffmann

In the vampire world the Covert has been around for hundreds of years. They take girls off the streets and then sell them to vampires who are looking to “collect” women for unpleasant purposes. It is a nasty business but vampires see humans as objects so buying one from the Covert is like adding another car to your collection. It wasn’t uncommon to hear another girl go missing off the streets, but when girls from well-known families begin to disappear, the Supernatural Crime Division begins to take notice.

Blake Noble is assigned by her superior to investigate the disappearance of his niece and to take down the Covert. Blake being the daughter of Lucifer and a famous vampire mother uses her abilities to survive through the investigation. Between demon lessons from her father and falling for the Deputy Director she tries to find a way to take down a several hundred year old business. Only she soon realizes people she trusted are involved.

Blake Noble is a half vampire, half demon with a little witch thrown in for good measure. When we first meet her she is working for the SCD, Supernatural Crime Division and is going undercover to find out who kidnapped her boss’s niece. From there she gets betrayed,  discovers new powers, gets kidnapped,kicks some ass,reconnects with an old friend,falls in love, meets her father, who just happens to be Lucifer.

  What did I think about Blood Slaves? If you have had read any of my reviews you know I am not a fan of the “insta-love” aspect. Which we have in this book. Though Blake didn't go overboard like a lot characters tend to do, that he wasn't the only thing that mattered to her. Blake is independent, strong willed, snarky and has more courage at times than common sense. She tends to barrel into situations without being prepared. I felt that about half way through the book it was a bit rushed. I thought that something that needed more explaining was brushed over. Even with all of that I finished the book in one sitting. It kept my attention and I am looking forward to the next book in the series.

Shaman, Healer, Heretic (Olivia Lawson, Techno-Shaman #1) by M. Terry Green

 I was wanting something to read to pass the time before I went to bed last night so I loaded it up on my Kindle and found Shaman, Healer, Heretic. Perhaps I should have waited for the morning because I couldn't go to bed until I seen how the book ended. I like novels about Shamans and thought this was an interesting take on them. I don't recall reading about Techno-Shamans before, what an original idea. Although the rest of the book was predictable, I enjoyed reading it. Well written and imaginative. The story does have action, adventure, betrayal, muggers and gods with a bit naive standing up for what she believes in a heroine.

"Hateful Burden - Book One of the Carrier Trilogy" by Natalie Gibson

I finished Hateful Burden a couple days ago. I wanted to wait to write my review. I was really engrossed in Ramillia's world. Ms. Gibson had my undivided attention from page one till the conclusion. It has been quiet a while since that has happened. I am not going to say a whole lot about what goes in the book because I do not want to spoil any of the story

We first meet Ramillia when she awakens in an insane asylum and has no memory how she got there or how long she has been there. Ramilla goes from being in depraved conditions with unspeakable things done to her body and mind to being released and living in the lap of luxury where it gets even worse.

Ramillia is such a strong woman, not many people could withstand all the she went through without becoming completely broken in mind, spirit and body. She over comes all the trauma in her life and well you will have to read the book to find out.

Ms. Gibson's writing and knowledge of the time period is spot on without a doubt. There are only a couple books in this era that I like and for me to not only like it be to be consumed by this wickedly delicious novel speaks for itself.

Phoenix By Thea Atkinson

I normally don't read short novellas. This one caught my eye, though. After I read the blurb I knew I would regret not checking it out. I was right. This is a good start to a series that I am going to anxiously wait to devour. I tend to like darker books with a strong female lead that is flawed. I have that in Phoenix

We first meet Theda eight months after the end of the world and God has came and went. Everyone that is left does all they can do just get make it through the day. The only thing that is not allowed is religion of ANY kind. Theda is a drug addict with a gift that is going to be her death. I am not going to say any more, you will have to read it to find out what happens.

Ms. Atkinson writing is smooth and left me wanting more.

Plans for the year

Another week is coming to a close. January is almost over with and it seems just like yesterday we were welcome the New Year in. I decided to not make any resolutions. Because I knew I would end up breaking them and then feel bad because yet again another set of resolutions have been broken. So I made myself a list of goals, both small and big, that I would like to accomplish by the end of the year. Some are silly, some are practical and  some are more important than others. I tend to procrastinate. We all know this, I have not made a secret of the fact. I always have and I imagine I always will but I would really would like to work on it. To set myself deadlines and try my best to get certain tasked accomplished by the deadline. Lets see how that goes. One of those is to make sure that I post here at least three times a week. Hopefully one you will talk back to me.

I want a change in my life. They only way that is going to happen is by doing it myself. I am doing better than I have compared to this time last year. I am not just talking about health wise. I am taking about mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I am still working on everything but I think I have made some real progress both mentally and emotionally. I am still working on my spiritual well being. I am still unsure of what I do believe in and what I don't. I contradict myself in what I think I believe in. I still have a long way to go there.

I think one reason I am doing better with my mental and emotion we being is because I agreed to go back on medication for my bi-polar and multitudes of anxiety disorders ranging for mild OCD to Agoraphobia. The medicine helped with the epic highs and soul shattering downs. This is why people should never ever let me pick the paint color. Ever. I digress the medicine is helping. The right medicine. I have a new doctor and she actually listened to me. Got all of my records going back 15 years. Did lots and lots of blood work. Then took me off of three medicines, changes the strength on a couple and add a couple. So far is seems to be helping some. The darkness is being held at bay.. Kind like the meds are a moat and the evil knight can't cross the moat, but I can see it waiting to attack, always present.

  I have also decided that I would bring you all along for the ride this year. This is the part where you all yell “YAY!” See how lucky you are... just so damn lucky to be drug around by the one and only precarious and slightly demented Jenster. Yes, you are fortune indeed my friend.

 As much as it pains me to go I must for now. See you all soon my sweet friends... and yes you too lurkers... and of course my wonderful stalkers...

Black Candles By Dab Ray

This is a very short story about a witch that has been imprisoned in a papier-mache doll dressed in rags for a long time. On Halloween she has a chance to be alive in flesh and blood. She could either say a spell and set herself free or stay and be a protect an innocent life.
 This is only about 35 pages long and I had to read it twice. Perhaps it lost something in the translating from Italian to English. I didn't really care for it, but it was not horrible by any means. If you like short story where a moral decision has to be made then this is for you..
 I was given a free copy by the lovely Mr. Ray in exchange for an honest review
 Find your copy at Amazon, Black Candles By Dab Ray