Greetings my faithful horde of stalkers. How have you all been? I mean horde is the most loving way, of course. I have been trying to fight the darkness that wants to consume me lately. I have slept more in the last three days than I have in the last 6 months. I have always been an insomniac so when I sleep for more the four hours at a time it always makes me feel a little odd. I keep zoning out as well. I feel like a zombie. If zombies have to consume brains I would be in trouble. I don’t wanna eat brains. I guess I would be a vegetarian zombie. I would be an outcast and the other zombies wouldn’t play with me. Of course I would be a freak even among zombies.
Mother’s Day is two days away. I was never close to my mother. We had so many issues I would not even know where to begin to describe my relationship with my mother. She has passed away 18 years ago this month. I was 19 years old, married with two small children. I do not ever remember my mother telling me she loved me or was proud of me. I never had a conversation with her. I do not even remember her hugging me or tucking me into bed. When I told her that I was pregnant at 14 years old what she told me I do not think I will ever forget. She stood there, all 5’ of her with her hands on her hips and said in a clipped tone, “ You spread ‘me, you take care of it.” I had never even babysat a day in my life. I muddle through though, I made a promise to myself that I would be the best parent I could be with my children. I would let them know every day that I love them. I may not like some of the things they do, but I will always love them. I think that as a parent the loving part is easy, it's everything else that is a pain in the ass. I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world though.
I am six feet tall. I have always been tall. In the 6th grade I was already 5’4. Actually, I am 6’1 but I just ignore that another inch. Shh! Don’t tell anyone. Anyway, Kenny is 6’4. You would think both of our children would be tall. Matt is tall at 6’ but Mandy is lucky if she is 5’5. That is stretching it a little bit. I find a genetics interesting. My mother’s side of the family is mostly short. Where as my father’s side are mostly tall. There were 16 inches difference in height of my parents. I guess sometime opposites attract huh.
Here is my question for you, are you attracted to someone completely different than you or someone that likes the same thing you do?
I am not hung up on looks. I do like tall men. I like tall men with broad shoulders. I don't like men that are hung up on how they look. I don't want someone prettier than me :) I like eyes. Someone can say more with their eyes than they can with their mouth. When I gaze into my lover's eyes and see their desire for me it touches a place inside me that no words or even a touch could replicate. I like intelligent men. Someone that I can have a conversation with, whether it be about the day's events or a perhaps about sex. We don't have to everything in common, that would be so boring, but at least have a few things in common. Passion. We would have to be infatuated with each other. They would have to be understanding. They would have to realize that I am a package deal of immense insanity. That I alone have been described as "bat shit crazy".
That is my answer what is yours?
Take care of yourself. Smile for me. Till Next Time..
